My final week at Yoga Borgo
I am just back from Yoga Borgo in Italy. Our final week saw us all emerge as butterflies on earth, ready to spread our wings and share this yogic energy. I feel nourished and cleansed. The intensity of the second week has become much more integrated. I did the usual early morning practices, we did gong meditation, we did a kriya that focused on emotional release, we did a two and a half hour meditation and all of it seemed to pass through me in a way that felt contained and balanced. I could simply be with the experience and I felt joyful at the change within me.
Yoga has given me a way to balance my whole system: mind, body and soul. The emotions arising this time were of love and peace and deep gratitude to my teachers, Sada Sat Singh and Sada Sat Kaur, who have guided us all very skilfully and lovingly along our journey.
The body keeps the score
The emotional traumas of a lifetime quite often have no words to speak other than the imprint they leave in our bodies. I am currently reading a book on this very subject (photo below), which cites yoga as a way of working effectively with trauma. With all the work I have been doing on myself, what I have noticed during the week in Yoga Borgo, is how emotionally cleansed I feel, as if I have cleared out a lifetime or more of emotional debris and grief. It is like there is a deep undercurrent of love and peace flowing through me that can keep my emotions moving freely along the way.
I haven’t had those feelings of grief so much lately, but when I have cried, the tears have come along with a feeling of love and gratitude for the memories that Oisin has given me. He blessed us all with his life and his incredible soul.
When I left Cilly for Italy, I had to say goodbye to him until my joyous return to his big smiling face. I will have to say goodbye to him many times during his human life. With Oisin, I never have to say goodbye again. He is around me and within me always.
Sharing what we learn can help us all
If there is one piece of wisdom I want to share from all the experiences of the last year it is to not let it take something this big to experience what I have come to experience. The road to well being and fulfillment is for all of us, without exception.
Along my way, I have learned that we don’t heal through anger, through judgement, by intellectualising everything and staying up in our heads. We heal when we get into our body, open our heart to love and learn to let go of all of the things we never had. We all go through loss from the moment we are born. We all mourn that loss in various ways. We all have that in common. It is our own responsibility to let go and forgive. Not someone else’s.
It is frightening to let go. We need to trust that when we jump into the darkness we will find the light. That is our true self in there waiting for us. When we find it, we shine out to everyone and everyone will see it. They will be attracted to your light because we all want it. We all want the light.
I have experienced that true well being is not about being happy, sad, up, down, excited, nervous, good times or bad times. It is simply about being with a moment. It is about trusting that every moment dies into a new one. There is no need to be this or that. All is just as is. Whatever it is- good, bad or indifferent.
I have arrived at the end of Kundalini Yoga teacher training knowing that I can share what I have learned and experienced with others, be this as a mother, a daughter, a wife, a friend, a yoga teacher or a psychologist. It hasn’t made me a saint by any stretch (my husband will verify that!). It has simply made me a human “being”.
“We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.” ― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Love and light ,