← 28 April 2016 – Barretstown Bereavement Camp
My Laptop was sick for a few weeks, but my friends in Harvey Norman’s fixed it for me. I have just read your blog on your visit to Barretstown with Barry and little Cilly. It was beautiful. You wondered what do people think when you speak about your darling angel Oisin. If its good for you to talk and reminisce that is all that is important. I think that most people love to hear little stories and events that you will always hold in your heart and never tire of you telling them. Genuine people are like this.
I remember a few years ago one of my neighbours lost her husband to death from Cancer. They had been extremely happy together, and the poor lady was broken-hearted. Each day she would go up to the graveyard and light a candle on his grave. One day I met her and she said that it was almost a year since his passing and she was still doing it. I said that it was good if it was making life a little bearable for her. She told me that I was very kind as some of her “Friends” had told her it was time to stop. I was really cross, and told her that they had no right to make a decision like that for her, and that she was to keep going up every day as long as she was getting a little relief from the pain of loosing him. Her face lit up, and I said if it was okay I would go with her as I was heading that way for a walk. I knew her husband just to say Hello to and when she lit the candle, I began to speak to him saying that we were heading off to the pub. I promised him that we would hold one another up as we staggered out. She began to laugh, and then we said 3 Hail Mary’s. When they were said I asked would she come to my home for a cup of tea. She was delighted and she told me lots of stories about their life together. I could see the happiness that she got from speaking about him.
If people cannot give their time to someone who needs support, then they have no heart. I have often heard people say that people were great when the death occurred but they had drifted away. I think that you have to lose someone who you were very close to, to truly understand another person’s pain. My wonderful Dad died on my 15th Birthday, and I still tell people funny things that he used to say. I still miss him to this very day. I feel that I am one of the lucky ones as I believe in an afterlife, and if I find myself upset about something I say. “Dad, I need a bit of support now please”. People call it coincidence, but I don’t. Shortly after, the phone will ring or someone will call and I know that he has sent support to me.
Congratulations to Barry and yourself on the wonderful new life that will be coming to you both. I wish you both and little Cillian every good wish.
Esther Maher O’Keeffe.
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