SIX MONTHS ON
It is 6 months since Oisin’s death. My relationship with him has changed over time. Whilst my memories of him as our child are still so strong and painful, my experience of him now is of a bright, sparkling and vast energy. He is never too far away, dancing and twirling around. He makes himself known in so many different ways and through so many people. It helps me to stay open to this kind of relationship with him.
This blog has become a story of what this one incredible little boy gave to his family. To me, his human mother. To Barry, his human father. To Cillian, his human brother. It ripples out to all. I get one shot at making what he did for us really count. That’s why I keep my heart and soul open to all of the experiences I am having along the way. At times, the path has been going at such speed I have felt very afraid and I often wonder if I will keep writing this blog in such a public way. What we are going through is so personal. I don’t want this to be all about me and Barry and Cilly. I want this to be about how these experiences can shape the whole course of our human life in the most profound way. Suffering is without doubt, very cruel, and yet it can be the one thing that can shake us into a much more conscious existence. A much deeper understanding of who we really are. This is my experience. Everyone goes through the same journey in their own way.
SECOND WEEK OF YOGA TRAINING AT YOGA BORGO, ITALY
I have just returned from Italy where I did my second week of Kundalini Yoga training. It was a similar pattern as last time. The start of the week was difficult. I missed my family and felt particularly raw this time. The yoga practice helped me to bring up some very deep emotions, more than just grief. Painful as it was it was liberating to move through them and emerge out of the other side with a more solid sense of who I am. It’s like shedding layers of old selves that no longer serve a purpose any more. The yoga was so powerful this time. I experienced a lot of energy moving through me during the practice. It was a surprise to discover this energy can actually move around the body in this way, but in the surrender to the experience of it the feeling is utterly beautiful and quite beyond any words. I noticed how much more strength I have gained in the practice. I returned from Yoga Borgo feeling much more in balance with myself. The challenge, as always, is maintaining the practice.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Yogi Bhajan
FAMILY TIME IN DINGLE
When I returned, Barry and Cilly had gone to Dingle for the weekend to join Barry’s family. Barry sent me some gorgeous pictures of Ventry Strand. We have taken a holiday in Dingle every year for the last 3 years and will be there again in August. Oisin really loved going. It sounded like an emotional few days for the family. Barry told me Oisin’s presence was felt everywhere. Looking at the pictures, I can see why….
BUTTERFLY BEING SITE LAUNCH
My dear friend, Julie, who I trained with in clinical psychology, has launched a web site. It is called www.butterflybeing.com. She is offering group and individual work, acting as “a facilitator and guide to work with you (or your child) to elicit and cultivate your own innate power to move towards wholeness and to transform what is ready to be discarded in your life, both internally and externally.” (taken from Julie’s site). She writes on it that Oisin was her inspiration in bringing the concept together. I will add her details on the help and support section of this blog. It is a very beautiful site and I wish her well with her work. I share with Julie a vision of well being coming from the unification of body, mind and spirit to bring true, deep, lasting healing to people of today’s world.
Peace to all. Love to all. Light to all.